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It's tempting to dismiss any of your partner's bad relationship habits as just another of their "quirks," but having an emotionally immature partner isn't something you should sweep under the rug — because it can have a seriously detrimental effect on your relationship.
"Having an emotionally immature partner can impact the overall health of your relationship," Burns says.
If so, you know trying to build a relationship with an emotionally immature guy is like trying to build a house out of cards.
Having a fulfilling, honest, loving long-term relationship is hard enough with two grown-ups. Here are 5 telltale signs of an emotionally mature man.
In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel comfortable bringing up potential problems and working on them together — one person shouldn't have to walk on eggshells in fear of upsetting their partner."[An emotionally immature partner] becomes extremely defensive over even the smallest of things, especially if they are in the wrong," Davis says.
"And if their partner does step on their toes, a tantrum and some name-calling may be in order." picking up your partner's slack, that could mean you're headed for a relationship where everything is one-sided and your own needs aren't being met."[An emotionally immature] partner expects you to do everything for them," speaker and spiritual counselor Davida Rappaport tells Bustle.
"Processing emotional experiences could be very overwhelming for [them], or tap into some sort of vulnerability or shame that causes [them] to shut down or withdraw, rather than being able to explain and process these complicated feelings."You don't need to be planning your wedding from the first date, but if your partner is seemingly unable to commit to even the smallest future plans with you (like planning a quick camping trip), that's a red flag.It’s always someone else — never them."difference between having a partner who knows their self-worth and recognizes when to put their own needs first, and having a partner who is totally selfish and constantly steps on others in order to give themselves a leg up."Your partner may only do things that benefit them," Rappaport says."If you need something, the only way they will step up is if it will benefit them as well.Of course, no one is perfect, but if you want your relationship to succeed, it's important that you're in touch with your emotions, and mature enough to acknowledge what you might need to improve on to become a better partner.
"Emotional immaturity can reflect a lack of depth and understanding about one’s own emotions, inability to communicate and process things related to the relationship, as well as lack of empathy and ability to understand your partner’s emotional experiences," Samantha Burns, couples counselor and dating coach at Love Successfully, tells Bustle."You will feel [them] distance [themselves] at a time when you could really use a rock in your life."I don't think there's anything less sexy in a partner than an inability to compromise.