Gay dating success tips Open sex chats
With the ease of swiping right, grinding from date to date, and working your way through a barrage of online lingo, dating today has become a vast territory to navigate.In this reality, searching for a compatible partner who shares your lifestyle and outlook is like finding a needle in a haystack.As a counsellor for gay men I am often asked to give my opinion about how to find a boyfriend, gay dating and gay relationship advice as well as support for coming out and help for gay men’s mental health.I’m flattered that many of my clients assume I’m an expert on such matters, but must admit my training and personal experience comes second to the first hand understandings that other gay and bisexual men tell me in our consultations.Don’t even think about posting a dating advert without a photo. You meet, and the blood drains from their face as they realise that your photo was taken 10 years, five stone and 500 wrinkles ago. You don’t have to write someone an epic love letter (please don’t) – just pick out a couple of appealing points in their ad and write a quick intro email. Some rookies assume that they must answer every email, even if it’s “thanks, but no thanks”. “Thanks but no thanks” can feel more hurtful than no reply.A picture-less ad says: “I am so ugly I didn’t want to risk a photo,” “I am married,” or “I am on the run from Broadmoor.” Everyone who likes your main photo will want to see more. Whether you’re a man or a woman, a photo with your shirt off makes you look desperate and/or only interested in sex. This is a cruel fact of life for online dating beginners, especially men. Likewise, you won’t “keep them keen” by making them wait days for a reply. Don’t allow an email conversation to drag on for weeks without a date.
If they’re not interested, at least you’ll know – and you can move on to the next date.If you’re both adults, single and you use protection, it’s your choice – but if you’d rather not, that’s your choice too. Ignore those rules about waiting three days to get in touch.If you like someone, you have nothing to lose by letting them know.Here is his advice for gay and bisexual men to survive same sex dating.
Forget that stuff about playing hard to get, expecting the man to pay, and never having sex on a first date. “I cook a mean paella and I’ll always try to make you laugh” is good, but “I have a fantastic job and no-one can understand why I’m single” is not.
Learn from your bad and boring dates and try again.