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Biggest clue of all: The salad course is punctuated by strained silence and forced small talk. Before we get to those, let’s review a few general guidelines for dating discourse: Listen as much or more than you talk.
The two pick at their dinner salads, staring down at the leafy mound before them. Finally, one of them tries to grease the wheels of conversation. Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly.
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Maybe both of you love to cook or maybe you will find out that you are both professionals at ordering out. A lack of answers to this question could be an immediate red flag. We all listen to music, even if it's not on purpose. Your date may not know specific bands, but they will know styles, and if this topic seems uncomfortable, feel free to add favorite TV shows and movies into the conversation.
Unless you just want to skim the surface of your life you will have to go a bit deeper at some point. Just being in their presence brings you contentment. I hope it is just nerves that is causing the conversation to dry up. A little teasing, a story about a family member leads to another story..just happens. I think it's a matter of taking it to the next level as some suggest...you are hanging out in person doing an activity it's ok just to have that silent time to enjoy one another's company. good luck Hey Bikeman...here's the deal...small talk will only get you so far. If you two don't feel comfortable doing that after a month..then I'm guessing that for whatever reason..just isn't there. And like someone said, hopefully her trip will give you more to talk about... If for want of everything else, talk about those topics or things that interest you - it's one sure way to find out if she is the one you are looking for... I can sympathise with you though, i'm not a great phone conversationalist either, but i can talk someones ear off in person (hypothetically of course) Relationships progress in little steps, and you're still taking baby ones!
But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part.